A Divided Heart Knows No Wholeness
Do not over look unity as a means to wholeness
Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart to revere your name.I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.Psalm 86:11-12 (NRSV)
I recall the amount of energy it took from the moment I got out of my car at Church to sit in the pew and be prepared to learn, worship, and be challenged by the sermon. It wasn’t that it was a very long span of distance from my car to the worship center, but rather the amount of smiles, “hello’s”, and superficial comments I needed to make as a leader in the community. It truly was like acting and putting on a mask that projected a personality that I thought was the appropriate posture for being in the task of leading a community of people.
I was simply “playing Church” and over time I realized how many inauthentic relationships I had developed compared to the deepening connections that brought the intimacy I longed for. It was a critical moment when I decided I needed to be known for who I was, rather than who I hoped others would perceive me to be. This is always what God seeks for us to become, undivided in our hearts and unified in our motives, decisions, and the same person in front of others that he seeks us to be in front of him.
The challenges in living undivided come with similar feelings as when we wanted to be picked for a team by the kid who were better or more popular. We didn’t want to be seen for who we are and left as the last kid to be sympathetically placed on a team and playing deep in the outfield. It is a feeling of rejection, shame, and isolation. These are not God’s call on our lives, especially if we risk living for him in areas that may not be easy or popular.
The Psalmist writes that we stand a lot to learn from God’s ways so that our walk is truthful and we are not tempted or willing to live undivided in our purpose and our focus. What a refreshing invitation this brings us that we can seek to live in greater unity with God so that we are the same person on the outside as well as on the inside. Yet, that is exactly where the deep work begins.
The effort to mature is what discipleship is about. We get the eternal hope and promise at the beginning of our faith in the salvation of Jesus, but the life we can live has just begun to take shape when we look at the condition of the heart that Christ has redeemed. It may be new, but the system of the old person still has some kinks and duct tape holding it together. Walking with Christ for half my life now, I can point out the work He has led me to undertake was for this process of wholeness. It wasn’t for me to feel the rejection, shame, or think I was cut off from him.
When those feelings are present, then perhaps you are too hard on yourself, a person won’t forgive, or the enemy is doing their role as the accuser. Not letting yourself move into a place a greater wholeness and gratitude in the work of the Holy Spirit is actually the wrong direction for you. How can God work and we give him glory if we aren’t realizing all of our lives are to be fashioned into one heart beating and draw into the will of the Father, regardless of our circumstance?
Don’t live there, divided and disorientated in our worth, our walk is a limp and our path is left at the random wants of the heart. I seek for you not to live in such a state of emotional fragmentation after you have claimed Jesus lord! It isn’t fit for any man or woman to not do the work of bringing cohesion to all aspects of life under the banner of obedience, humility, and love. There really is no other pursuit worth undertaking if the outcome isn’t to be shaped into the likeness of our Redeemer.
I pray you look at your walk, find where you walk off the path, where you may have segmented parts of our life out of rebellion or disbelief in God’s heart and goodness and bring it all before him. You will not be shamed, rejected or isolated from him. You will be comforted, adopted, and brought into fellowship with Him and others who seek the same wholeness in their walk with the Savior!
Keep Looking Up!